MILF – a really short story.


Magazines and gossip sites are full of women just relieved of babies. You’re meant to bounce back like them. Six weeks seems about right. Six weeks to yummy mummy status.

At 19 weeks my belly is rounding out now but not in any definite way. I just look fat, like I’ve let myself go over winter.


I do one of those personality quizzes that people like to share on Facebook.

Which Beyoncé Are You?

Super Bowl Beyoncé

Secret Album Beyoncé

“Crazy In Love” Beyoncé

“Who Run The World (Girls)” Beyoncé

Illuminati Beyoncé

Destiny’s Child Beyoncé

#22daysvegan Beyoncé

Glastonbury Beyoncé

I choose Secret Album Beyoncé but am momentarily torn between “Crazy In Love” Beyoncé and Glastonbury Beyoncé.

I take three more tests:

Which Muppet Are You?

Which ‘Hunger Games’ District Do You Actually Belong In?

How Much Do You Hate People?


Mahna Mahna.

District 9.


Broads, Babes, Bitches

These are an idea I had for mashing together old images of nude women with some of the more sexualised rap lyrics I could find that talk about women. I like the juxtaposition of the two kinds of ‘male gaze’ perspectives….they make me laugh.